Both the question and answer on this page were taken directly from Focus on the Family‘s website; taken from their questions and answers section, they have since removed it.

QUESTION

When a couple has sex, aren’t they essentially married in God’s eyes? It seems to me that if the younger generation understood this and believed it, things would change fast. Dating as we know it would cease. Virgin women wouldn’t dream of putting themselves in a compromising position with a man. A young man would be far more careful if he knew that the moment he crossed the line he was committed. Wouldn’t you agree that this is the message we need to be communicating?

ANSWER

Technically speaking, you’re right on target in suggesting that, in God’s eyes, marriage has more to do with the sex act than it does with church ceremonies or legal documents. According to Scripture, marriage is fundamentally a matter of a man and a woman becoming one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Sexual intercourse is central to that process. Modern culture may treat sex as a toy, but in actuality it’s a terribly powerful thing. It creates a bond between two people which is not easily broken. This is consistent with the apostle Paul’s warning in I Corinthians 6:16: “Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, ‘The two will become one flesh'” (I Corinthians 6:16). As regards this detail of biblical theology, then, we’re in complete agreement with you. (TTGM: see video animation on sex is marriage).

Where we may see things differently is in the area of practical application. What are the implications of this theological truth for couples living in the cultural context of 21st century America? And how do we persuade contemporary people to take those implications seriously and to order their personal behavior accordingly? How do we get them to care about the fact that sexual activity equals marriage in the eyes of God? That’s the real question. It’s a crucial question inasmuch as the one flesh union that is genuine biblical marriage is supposed to embrace every aspect of human existence. It includes the mental, the emotional, the moral, the spiritual, and the economic as well as the physical and sexual. Yes, the physical bond undoubtedly plays a crucial role in bringing all these ingredients together. In a certain sense, it cements them into a whole. And yet one could easily argue that it is not, in and of itself, the “one flesh” relationship described in Genesis 2:24. In practical terms, it is not necessarily a sufficient basis for establishing an ongoing commitment of the will and intellect between partners. If you doubt this, just take a look around. That’s why most human cultures have found it necessary to devise ways of solemnizing the sexual/marital relationship so as to make it socially and legally binding.

Full Document can be read HERE (Focus on the Family has since removed the link to the above copy off of their website – wonder why?)

Document Home Page

TTGM Comments on this article:

Focus on the Family confirms the Bible doctrine on marriage (sex=marriage). Surprisingly, they then go on from there to support the cultural and traditional practice of marriage that evolved out of the law passed in 1563, which is in direct conflict with the word of God. Let’s ask the question: What will you the believer be judged by when you meet God; the biblical doctrine on marriage or the traditional teaching and practice of marriage?

If you are not a virgin at the church building wedding, will God ignore the judgment of adultery at that point? (if it is not the man that took your virginity) 

What is your final authority, the Bible, or men’s traditions?

Download FREE Handout on marriage that is shared at presentations given by TTGM: “Marriage a Doctrine of Demons”

(1Tim 4:1-3 [KJV])
Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; 2 Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; 3 Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth.

Update:
Focus on the Family has since republished the above article, BUT has made some changes. These changes direct people to keep the pope’s law of 1563. Sad. Visit here to see the changes made.